No art today, but I do have a story for you.
It's kinda long, but if you can picture it in your mind, very funny. Best part, completely true. So, grab a beverage, possibly a snack to fortify you and read on.....
Let me start by giving you some background factoids, for those new to my blog:
Dewbird and I have a black Lab, approximately 75-80 lbs, (sometimes feels close to 100 lbs, we're not sure because he won't stand still on the scale at the vet's...too much people food) named Rocky. According to the vet, he’s about 2 ½ yrs old, not sure, as we got him from the local animal control, who found him alongside the road, dumped by some moron.
We live in the middle of nowhere in north central Illinois. Lots of flat farm ground around us.
We walk Rocky in the morning and after we get home from work. We use a walking harness on him, and a retractable 26 foot leash. We have to walk him with the leash, otherwise he would take off along the creek/field/woods near us, chasing deer scent, among other things. We walk him a lot (EVERY DAY, TWICE A DAY) because, as those with labs know, they have a lot of energy until they hit about 3-4 years old.
On with the story.
We were walking him the other night, oh, about 4:30 p.m. Per usual, we walk on the road, and Rocky takes advantage of the 26 foot leash and walks along the ditch edge in the cornfield. He usually has his nose to the ground, and stops and digs if he smells a mouse or some other rodent. Sometimes I don’t think he has a reason to start digging, other than to get us cheesed and exasperated.
Suddenly, Rocky stops short and starts barking. We can’t see anything.
Then, all of a sudden, we see the snake. It was about 3-4 feet long, light tan with brown spots on it. Had never seen one like it before. Of course, Rocky is barking his fool head off, dancing around the snake, who strikes out occasionally, being somewhat PO'd at having his territory invaded. Now, Rocky isn’t the most brave dog in the world. He backs up of course when the snake strikes out, still barking, just dances around to a different spot. At this point, there is a lot of shouting, barking, expletives, sidestepping (i.e. dancing), etc. I’m the one holding onto the leash, or trying to. I’m trying to pull Rocky away, using the leash, but I’m telling you right now, there is nothing that will stop a 75 pound dog when it has something else on it’s mind.
Dewbird shouts, “Give me the leash!”
“Fine, here!”
Dewbird grabs the leash.
After months of walking on the leash, Rocky has figured out how to extract himself from the harness, once someone is pulling on the other end. It’s kind of like watching a little kid when you’re taking off their t-shirt. He just stretches out his front legs, puts his head down and backs up while the human on the other end pulls. Bam, he’s free!
And I shout “Quit pulling on the leash, he’ll get out of the harness!”
Too late.
He’s free, and still barking and dancing around the dang snake. Now, we have to try and grab a loose dog as well as getting him away from the snake, which means we need to get closer to the snake, not knowing what kind of snake it is.
All sorts of things run thru your mind.
Is it poisonous?
Will it hurt if it bites me?
What’s it going to feel like to die from a snake bite?
Should I just run and leave the other person there to figure it out, using the excuse that I’m going to get help?
Can I grab it with my bare hands and kill it like I've seen on TV?
Why did I say yes to getting another dog?
All this while you’re dancing with the dog in a circular motion around the snake, trying to grab the dog and avoid the snake. Crikey.
Dewbird keeps repeating over and over “that’s the biggest snake I’ve seen this close” or “that’s a really big snake”. Yes, I can see that.
I finally am able to grab Rocky by the collar that is still around his neck, fortunately. So then, Dewbird grabs and holds Rocky while I try to put the harness back on. The snake is still about 3-4 feet away, not moving, thankfully. While I’m trying to harness up Rocky, my bum is facing the snake.
Dewbird says “Don’t worry, I’ll let you know if it comes toward you”.
“Thanks, is that before or after it bites me in the a**?” I say.
That being done, Dewbird literally had to pick Rocky up, no easy task, and carry him away just to distract him. At this point everyone involved is panting and sweating profusely. So, we decide to take Rocky to the creek, as he loves the water, and needed to cool off. We leave his leash on, as there is lots of wildlife to chase there, too. So, Rocky is in the water, enjoying the moment, we’re standing on the bank, laughing about the snake incident, when we look in the water and…
”What is that?” Dewbird says. It was white and flat, then it turned, and it was a turtle, which can snap, and was floating right towards Rocky. I’m like, oh crap, hope he doesn’t see that in the water. Thankfully it floats by without incident.
Dewbird says “ Geez, what’s next? Is a black bear going to show up on the other bank or what?” I’m like, “I don’t know, but I’ve had about enough close encounters with nature today, let’s go home”….so we did.
This is a TRUE story. Did I tell you about the run in with the coon at the creek? That’ll be for another day….
Oh, come to find out, via Google, the snake was a Prairie King Snake, common I guess, in the Midwest, but not venomous. You can Google it and see what we saw……